All In The Family

On my 5th birthday I broke down sobbing that things were changing.

Since then, my aversion to change has been legendary.

Tomorrow, Marta, the woman who has helped raise my daughter and mentored me in motherhood, spends her last day with us.
And then she is off to California. To live. 3,000 miles away.

From me.

From La C.

Marta walked through our door on the first day of my daughter's fourth month of life and tomorrow my daughter will be 3 years and 17 days old.

In the intervening hours, months and years La C ----

Learned Spanish;
Learned to love the outdoors;
Laughed with abandon;
Developed amazing self-confidence.

Because of Marta.

Those of you who know me also know that aside from my adversion to change, I am the queen of control freaks. But I walked out the door that morning of the first day of La C's fourth month with an almost heretofore unknown sense of calm. I never asked where they went during the day. I never questioned what La C ate during the day. Because I knew that every morning Marta greeted La C with the same voice full of love that I did and La C smiled contentedly.

Because of Marta.

Marta knows all my secrets.

She knows that I am a lackluster housekeeper. She knows how forgetful I am. But she also knows how much my world revolves around La C and makes sure that I have the support I need.

I have tried to explain to La C what is happening. She is three. She does not truly understand.

I know that two weeks from now La C will wake up and call down the stairs to Marta. And I will have to Mom up.

Be the Mom.

The only Mom.

I am scared.

Not only am I losing my friend. A member of my family.

I am losing my safety net.

But if there is one thing Marta has taught both La C and me, it is that we can do anything.